MY JOURNEY TO WOMANHOOD
i am 23year old happily married housewife.but i was born as a boy
and my name was anil.all this could happen due to my elder sister
amita-who is my best friend. we are two siblings.she is 3yrs older
than me. from my childhood she used to dress me in her clothes to
which i had no objection.she was doing this only for fun.but when
i grew i liked dressing in girl clothes.......i also used other
accessories like bindi, bangles and did make up.seeing my interest
didi(amita) helped me in learning girly behaviour like how to
talk, walk etc.when i was 13yrs old she bought padded bra for
me.when i saw that i felt shy. but didi said- u have grown up now
and u need this for perfect shape.then i wore that and felt very
nice.when i wore salwar kameez and saw me in mirror then realised
about the curves of girls and thanked didi. this type of dresing
continued till didi's marriage.by that time i had learned how to
wear saree,how to talk in a girly voice and most importantly how
to avoid lustful eyes of boys. my mother knew this and sometimes
she teased me saying that one day you will become a real girl like
your sister. hearing these words i was just blushing but in my
heart sometimes i was wishing to be girl and enjoy my feminity.
after didi's marriage i felt sad as i could not share girly talks
anymore though we were chatting over phone.but my dressing
continued as didi left all her old clothes after marriage and i
was using them.
after one year of didi's marriage oneday she asked my mom to send
me to her place as she was in advance stage and needed somebody to
be with her.sameer-her husband remains busy with his touring
job.the next day i reached her place.we hugged each other and
started chatting. after a while she said- i have a plan for
you.here you stay with me for two months as my sister.as no other
person reside here you wont have problem.thus i will feel the
presence of a woman beside me and you will enjoy your life as
girl.i have told this to sameer and he wont mind this.hearing this
i became very happy and imagined my life for next two months. didi
asked me to take bath and in the meantime she gathered all the
stuff she has bought for her younger sister.
when i came out of bathroom after shaving little body hair from my
slim body didi was waiting for me.
when i came from bath room didi took me to a room and said it is
yours.i saw didi has kept everything that a young lady would need.
in the cup board there were salwar, nightie and sarees. on the
dressing table there were ladies perfume, hair removal cream,
bangles, bindi,lipstick, kajal. i was pleased to see all the arrangements. didi
said u need to
look perfect girl. so i have bought some special things. then she
asked me to wear a padded panty.for the first time i wore this.
after that didi asked me to lie down on bed. didi brought a
different type of glue.
she applied that glue on my manly nipples and surrounding area.
then she fixed two artificial skin colour breast forms on it. at
that time i felt as if something happened inside me. i cant really
express the feeling.it was wonderful and made me confident. then i
wore bra ad salwar kameez.i aplied light make up and didi gave me
one golden necklace to wear.it took almost one hour to make myself
a lovely girl.when i finished didi said now u are my sweet sister
anita. didi has thought this name to sound our names lyrical-amita
and anita.i appreciated didi's minute details for perfection of
her sister that's me.
now i started my life as anita. as i had my breast fixed through
glue which can only be removed after using a chemical i had no
tension of adjusting padded bra which i used to wear earlier.i
helped my didi in all household work like cooking, washing
clothes, cleaning utensils etc. we used to go shopping
together,giggled at boys, watched all 'k' serials not to watch the
story but costumes of actresses, talked all girly things.
sometimes didi was talking about the romantic married life of her.
during this type of chat i was feeling myself as a real girl and
imagining the romantic scenes happening to me. though didi knew
that i was behaving like a real girl she was unaware of my inner
feelings-that i was becoming girl mentally.
during this the most important thing in my life happened.one day
jijaji came with one of his colleagues called rahul. he was
transferred to this city and jijaji told that he will stay in our
house till he got official accomodation.
rahul was tall, smart and handsome-any girl would love his company.
i used to serve breakfast and dinner to jijaji and rahul as doctor
had asked didi to work less and take rest.rahul liked palak
paneeer and gazar ka halwa prepared by me very much.when
He praised for that i felt very happy.
i liked to hear rahul's voice always whenever he was at home and
was thinking about him when he was at office.i could not know what
happened to me. one day i was thinking over it-is it love? am i in
love with rahul? but he has never told anything regarding this. so
why am thinking about him so much?
i was so immersed in rahul's thought that i could not know when
didi had come and stood beside me. i came to sense when she asked
me- thinking about rahul? i suddenly said - no...why should i
think about him? but didi's sharp eyes could notice my face
becoming red hearing rahul's name. she said- every girl says like
this when she falls in love. am your didi dear.......i could
managed to say-oh didi...then she took me in her embrace.
one evening didi had to go to doctor for medical check up with
jijaji.so only rahul and me were at home.i went to rahul's room
with tea ad some snacks. he asked me to sit and we talked for a
while. after sometime he said me those magical words which every
girl wants to listen from the boy she loves.rahul said-i love you
anita.......will you marry me? hearing this i culd not know what
to reply tough i felt very happy.so i got up from chair and said i
have to cook for dinner.he said-u did not reply me? i said turning
my face to downwards that i need sometime.then i returned to my
room. now my mind went blanck. what shall i do? rahul knows me as
agirl and i also love him.but that's not the reality.how are
marriage will be possible? i became sad and tears rolled down from
my eyes. didi returned from doctor and saw me crying.she could not
know what happened. after an hour i told her eveything. then she
said dont worry my sweet sister, everything will be ok. i said -
dont give me false asurances.she said-no no. i am not joking.it is
possible.you can become a girl through horomone therapy and
surgery.only thing is you can not become a mother. then i said-why
would a man marry me knowing all this? didi said-see dear, every
genetic woman can not conceive...due to various complications many
woman have remained issuless. so that should not be a problem. if
rahul's love is as strong as yours then he will definitely marry
you. hearing this i felt a lttle relaxed.but what about mom- i
asked.didi said leave it to me; no mother wants her child to be
unhappy and your happiness is with rahul. so i will convince her,
you dont worry.
next day didi explained everything to rahul and he had no
objection to marry me. rather he said that he will bear major
expenditure for opertion.
after a week didi gave birth to a baby boy and mom came to see her
grandchild.seeing opportunity didi said everything to mom. first
mom became sad; then didi asked her-see your younger daughter,
anita mom...she will be happy to become a housewife. so you should
teach her how to live like a wife and daughter-in-law instead of
worrying. then mom came to me and kissed on my forehead.tears
rolled down from eyes of all three.
next few months i had to go for hormone therapy and when my body
became completly feminine i went for surgergy to change my sex.
last week we got married and now we are on honeymoon. rahul and i
have decide to adopt a child....but after two years. because we
want to enjoy our marital bliss in these years without any